If, on the other hand, you see the relationship realistically and you remember his flaws and the bad things about the relationship - the things that caused you to break up - you can begin healing. The question is, was any of that real? If you’re idealizing the relationship it will be very hard to get over because you’re hanging onto a fantasy and nothing else will ever be able to compare. If you see the relationship you had as perfect and believe you were perfectly in love and perfectly happy and never had problems and fought, well, you’re not over him. This relates to no other guys being able to measure up. MORE: Undeniable Signs You’re Not Over Your Ex 4.You idealize the relationship If no other guy can measure up, you have some work to do to get over your ex before you can get back out there. That’s because your heart is still taken. It’s hard because everyone tells you that you need to date other guys to forget him, but you date other guys and it just makes you think about him more. If you compare every guy you meet to him and they all fall short, this means you’re idealizing him and emotionally refusing to move forward. If re-reading conversations you had with him makes you cry, or you have to change the station when a song you associate with him comes on, or you feel a pit in your stomach when you pass the restaurant you used to go to, and can’t go in, you’re definitely not over him. If you find you’re avoiding things that trigger you because they make you think of him, you’re not over him yet. In order to save your sanity, you spend your life dodging these emotional landmines. You can’t eat at certain restaurants, listen to certain songs, watch certain movies. MORE: Hidden Signs Your Ex Still Loves You (Even if He Says He Doesn’t) 2.You get emotionally triggered by everythingĮverything that reminds you of him produces a strong emotional reaction in you. If you’re not over him, you’re going to fill that empty space with thoughts of him. It’s tough because you used to spend so much time with him and now your time is filled with not knowing what’s going on with him. You wonder what he’s up to and can’t get the possibilities out of your mind. Maybe you want to share your day with him, tell him something you heard about, send him something you know he’d find interesting, or ask his opinion about something. There’s always something you want to talk to him about. You constantly have to fight the urge to act on these thoughts by calling or texting him.
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